


No way to go but up

by Anonymous



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Baby Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Child ranboo, Domestic Violence, Eventual Romance, Eventual karlnapity, Family Dynamics, Father-Son Relationship, Flashbacks, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Running Away, Sexual Abuse, Trans Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 12:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30072312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “There’s only one way to go from here, bud. And that’s up.”  Sapnap whispers, a genuine smile, one that only Ranboo can give him lately, growing on his face.He quickly leaves the house, grabbing a hat off the hook by the door. He throws one last glance over his shoulder, and listens closely, but all he hears is the southern accents of the characters on whatever show Jason is playing.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Darryl Noveschosch & Sapnap, Ranboo & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 67
Collections: Anonymous





	No way to go but up

**Author's Note:**

> Please be sure to read tags! There may be a lot of triggers, so be careful! And if you need anything, feel free to reach out!
> 
> Also, if any creators say that they are uncomfortable with this sort of storyline, specifically Sapnap, I will take this down!
> 
> Also, while some of this is based on my own experiences, a lot of it isn’t. I’ll try to stay realistic, but not all of this may reflect real experiences. Please tell me if I ever overstep any boundaries.

Sapnap’s not really sure how he got in this situation. One day he’s going on a first date with a nice enough guy, and seemingly the next he’s holding a tiny baby in his arms. Occasionally teardrops leak off of Sapnap’s face and drop onto the thin onesie that Ranboo is wearing. And Sapnap has long since learned to hide the bruises on his own body but is promising that his son will never experience that.

But the baby is sleeping, his hand is gripping the neck of Sapnap’s shirt tightly. Sapnap’s chest is starting to feel slightly sweaty from Ranboo’s body warmth against him, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. In fact, when Sapnap shuffles around so he can gently lay Ranboo in his crib, it feels like he loses a part of himself.

“Are you coming?” Shouts Jason, from the room over. Sapnap glances at Ranboo worriedly, but thankfully the little one is still sleeping deeply.

“Yes, I’ll be there in a second.” Sapnap answers back, only just loud enough to be heard from their bedroom.

He checks that the nursery door is properly closed, before pulling out the duffle bag.

It was tucked away in the nursery closet, and already half full. A few of Sapnap’s things but mostly Ranboo’s. There’s a full 18 pack of diapers. Not enough to last long, but enough to try. Aswell as an assortment of clothes, including the ones that were still too big. It had been hard secretly buying those.

There’s also a sizable wad of cash. Bills he had slipped from Jason when given the chance, and as much of the money from when Sapnap still worked that he could save. Last time he had counted, it had been 847 dollars, and 73 cents.

Sapnap tucks a couple more items in the bag. His favorite of Ranboo’s bedtime story books, his two favorite pacifiers, and a couple packs of baby wipes.

“We’re going to do it, Ranboo. I promise.” Sapnap says, his voice cracks in the middle, but he smiles nonetheless. He gently tucks some of Ranboo’s hair away from his forehead, and leans down to press a kiss against it.

When Sapnap finally does go into his husband’s room, he knows it will be for the last time.

“Hey.” Jason says gruffly. There’s a bottle of beer sitting on the nightstand, but it’s almost empty.

“Want another beer, babe?” Sapnap asks, trying not to sound too excited.

Jason looks at him, a pleased grin coming onto his face. “Well look at you, being all sweet and helpful. I knew motherhood was a good look for you.”

Sapnap cringes inwardly at the term “motherhood”, but he’s long since gotten used to Jason using words he doesn’t like. Instead, Sapnap smiles brightly. “Of course.”

Sapnap whirls around, headed for the kitchen. The kitchen trashcan is nearly overflowing. Jason had just yelled about it that evening. Causing Ranboo to cry.

It was Jason’s stubborn ignorance of the after effects of birth, that yes, it physically was hard to take out the trash with all of the pain Sapnap has been put in the last couple of months, that really convinced Sapnap, tonight was the night. 

Sapnap opens the liquor cabinet first, needing to climb onto the counter to get the items in the back. Sapnap had known there were sleeping pills somewhere, they had been used on him. He just didn’t know where. It had taken a couple of days of using any spare, unmonitored second to search before he found them. Tucked behind Jason’s most expensive whiskey was a flat package of dissolvable sleeping pills.

He then pops open a beer, dropping one into the liquid. It dissolves quickly, but Sapnap knows all too well that it works.

“Here.” Sapnap says, a forced smile on his face. Jason doesn’t notice, just happily taking the drink.

He drinks for a few minutes, focusing on some hunting show on the TV, while Sapnap gets ready for bed.

“Why don’t you come here, sap.” Jason asks, patting the bed beside him. 

Sapnap feels his heart start to race. This hadn’t been in the plan. Ever since Sapnap gave birth, Jason had been taking it easy this way. Sapnap figured it was because his body was different. 

“Oh, I’m pretty tired, baby.” Sapnap stutters, his voice cracks.

Jason rolls his eyes. “Come on, we haven’t really done anything in months.”

“Well, we’ve got a four month old baby! So that’s pretty normal I think.” 

Jason’s stare hardens. “Come. Here.”

Sapnap feels his neck and face start to burn, anxiety creeping into his stomach and making it cramp. But he nods. “Okay.”

Jason is halfway through when the sleeping pill finally takes over. Sapnap can see him hesitating, can see the way his eyes keep drooping.

“You seem pretty tired.” Sapnap says quietly, hissing when Jason tightens his grip around Sapnap’s arm. He turns his head more, craning his neck so he’s not against the pillow. “We don’t have to finish, I’m tired too. Why don’t we just stop for tonight.”

Jason growls, fisting a hand into sapnap’s hair and shoving his face down. Sapnap feels tears well up. It’s definitely not the first time that Jason had ignored him like that. It’s not even the worst.

That didn’t make it any less uncomfortable.

Eventually, though, Jason seems to agree. His movements mellow out, and he collapses beside Sapnap. 

“We’ll finish in the morning.” Jason says, before rolling over to his side of the bed.

Within minutes, the man is snoring.

-

Sapnap gives it half an hour, he spends the entire time staring at Jason’s form. Every movement makes him flinch, but the man is out cold.

Finally, at 11:43 Sapnap decides he’s waited long enough.

He stands up slowly, keeping the bed creaking as little as possible.

He slowly opens his nightstand drawer, grabbing a small pocketknife, a bottle of anxiety medication, and his testosterone bottle, that Jason had banned him from taking, but he had kept anyway.

Then he grabs one of Jason’s hunting backpacks, shoving as many clothes out of his dresser drawer as he can fit. He had started to slowly add things that wouldn’t normally be in the drawers in, just so it would be a little quieter to sneak out. He sticks all three of his binders in the backpack.

Lastly he grabs a small trinket box. It’s filled with a couple of USBs, all the physical photos he has left, whether they’re of his friends, family, or even a few of little Ranboo. There’s a couple of pieces of his grandmother’s jewelry, and finally an SD card filled with as much evidence as he could gather.

With all this tucked in his backpack, he’s finished with his bedroom. He glances around, only briefly, but doesn’t find much to miss in the room. It’s mostly clutter, specifically Jason’s clutter. Least of all he’ll miss the man collapsed onto the mattress.

He goes to the bathroom next, an already filled toiletry bag is under the sink. He sticks it into the backpack, the backpack barely zips with all of the items in it but he manages.

He tiptoes through the hallway until he reaches the kitchen, and he grabs a reusable grocery bag, one that Jason had made fun of him many times for buying. He piles as many of Ranboo’s bottles, formula containers, and other such items as he can into it.

Lastly he goes into the nursery, putting every last piece of Ranboo’s clothing, a couple of blankets, and a small teddy bear his friend Dream had given him into the duffle bag. Once he’s done, it’s heavy aswell.

Sapnap grabs the thick coat he has hanging over the back of Ranboo’s rocking chair-and if there’s one thing he would miss from this house, it would be that rocking chair-and slides on his boots, before finally turning to his boy.

Ranboo has just learned to sit up, so he’s tucked inside a swaddling sack. Sapnap remembers laughing about them, thinking of how funny it would be to have a baby literally in a zip-up sack. He is insanely grateful for it now though.

Once Sapnap has both bags settled on his shoulders, he leans down to gently pick up Ranboo. The boy doesn’t wake up at first, but when Sapnap grabs one of his baby blankets and starts to wrap it around him there’s a big breath, and then a piercing cry.

“Ranboo! Shh!” Sapnap shushes, he knows the panic in his voice will only worry the baby, but he also knows that if Ranboo isn’t quiet enough Jason could hear. Sure, the sleeping pills work well, but Sapnap doesn’t trust them to work quite that well.

Every second of crying makes Sapnap’s heart pound faster. But he continues to rock side to side, it’s too late to turn back now. And Jason had stopped trying to help calm Ranboo after the first week.

After a few moments, Ranboo settles back down, being soothed back to sleep. When Sapnap feels Ranboo’s head completely go limp against his shoulder, he sighs in relief. 

“There’s only one way to go from here, bud. And that’s up.” Sapnap whispers, a genuine smile, one that only Ranboo can give him lately, growing on his face.

He quickly leaves the house, grabbing a hat off the hook by the door. He throws one last glance over his shoulder, and listens closely, but all he hears is the southern accents of whatever show Jason is playing.

-

It’s a long walk to the nearest bus stop, and Sapnap ends up tucking Ranboo under his coat out of fear the baby would get too cold. But by 1 AM he makes it.

He’s just in time, the bus pulls to a stop next to him only a few minutes after he arrives. He grabs the wad of cash out of his pocket with his free hand, he worries he’ll fall but after four months of fatherhood he’s gotten good at keeping himself upright with a baby in his arms. The bus driver gives him a strange look, but doesn’t say anything as he takes the fair.

Sapnap settles into the bus seat, Ranboo still peacefully sleeping against his neck, and bags at his feet.

-

By the morning Sapnap had switched buses four times, and was still in Louisiana. Thankfully he had made his way out of New Orleans, and was now in a smaller town. But, they had a hotel. And Ranboo was starting to wake up and get hungry.

“Only a little longer!” Sapnap tells the baby, when he starts to cry half a mile from the hotel. Sapnap checks his phone, which he had wiped clean the night before and could currently only use when connected to WiFi. There’s a McDonald’s nearby with a strong enough signal that he’s able to check his phone map.

“We’re so close, see!” Sapnap cheers, the baby turns to look at the phone. And that’s when the smell reaches him.

“Oh, gosh. No wonder you’re so upset, pee-euw!” Sapnap cheers, voice going higher. Ranboo looks at him and smiles at his voice.

“That’s my sweet boy’s smile, we’re almost there!”

-

Thankfully, the man at the front desk of the hotel doesn’t lag around. He gets Sapnap a room quickly, and it’s one of the lowest priced ones that doesn’t allow smoking.

Sapnap walks into the room and sets Ranboo on the floor, dropping his bags onto the bed. He almost collapses onto it himself but Ranboo’s loud cry reminds him why he was so hurried in the first place.

“Sir yes sir! Let’s get the diaper changed shall we!” Sapnap cheers, he lays a thin mat on the carpet and gets Ranboo changed into a fresh diaper, and some more daytime appropriate clothes.

“Don’t you look precious?” Sapnap asks softly, he’s holding Ranboo up, almost as if the baby is standing. There’s barely any weight actually being put on his legs, but it’s cute nonetheless. 

Ranboo stares at him for a moment before wailing again, and Sapnap sets out to get his formula ready.

-

Occasionally Sapnap considers calling someone. He wonders if any of his friends are still in Louisiana. He even pulls out a phone book to search for their numbers, but he comes up empty handed.

There’s only one place he can really go.

He and Ranboo spend the night in the hotel, Ranboo sharing the bed with Sapnap. In the morning, Sapnap gorges himself on the continental breakfast with one hand, while holding Ranboo in his lap and helping the baby hold up his bottle.

They’re back in a bus, on the road, by 8:30 AM.

-

Sapnap wants to ride the bus all day and get to Texas without another stop. But, by 5 PM, little Ranboo is exhausted, and watching the buildings pass had lost its interest. Sapnap is just glad he hasn’t had to deal with any road sickness yet.

So, when Sapnap sees their next stop is in front of a hotel, he quickly leaves. The hotel is a little more expensive, but Sapnap figures it’s worth it.

“We might get special treatment today, buddy.” Sapnap says, as they trail into the hotel lobby.

This time, there’s a cheerful woman at the front desk. And she happily gushes over Ranboo. Fawning over his half and half hair, and how unique it is.

“Yeah, I didn’t even know that could happen! The doctor told us it’s incredibly rare.” Sapnap tells her. It’s different, he thinks, to be able to talk about his child without Jason looking over his shoulder. Or even to be able to talk to someone at all.

“How precious is that!” She says, handing him a keycard.

-

Sapnap sleeps better than he ever has that night, Ranboo only wakes up to be fed once, and isn’t fussy at all about it. So in the morning Sapnap feels more relaxed than he has in a long, long time.

After the two have their breakfast, they come back upstairs to rest and gather their things.

“We’re only about an hour away, buddy. And they might be in the phone book!” Sapnap tells Ranboo. Ranboo, of course, has no clue what he’s saying. But when Sapnap says anything in a cheerful, high voice, it makes the baby smile.

Sapnap turns the TV on to a news channel just so Ranboo has something to look at. The volume is low, but Sapnap can hear that they're talking about a football game, so nothing too inappropriate for kids.

It takes him a few minutes to find it, it’s been a long time since Sapnap has actually used a phone book, but eventually he tracks down ‘Skeppy Halo, Home Phone’

There may be a few tears on his face when he sees it, but Ranboo isn’t going to judge.

He dials the number quickly, there will likely be an additional fee, since he’s outside of the city limits, but it doesn’t matter.

“Hello?” 

Sapnap’s breath catches. That’s a voice he hadn’t heard in well over a year

“Da-“

He cuts off when the sound of the tv filters into his ears.

“Please, if you know where they are, if you have any information, tell me.” The voice begs. It’s Jason. He’s on TV, standing next to a reporter. The headline is scrolling with ‘Missing Transgender Man And Infant.’

Sapnap feels all the blood drain from his face. The police are on Jason’s side. They think Jason is just some poor husband who’s family has disappeared. And it seems they even think it’s some sort of hate crime.

Then there’s a knock on the door.

Sapnap glances around the room quickly, it’s possible that outside is just room service, but there’s no way to tell, and he’s not ready to risk it.

He looks to the balcony door, they’re on the ground floor, with a little patio that leads to the pool. All he’d have to do is jump the small fence, use his keycard to unlock the pool gate, and run to the bus stop. The bus would be there within 15 minutes.

There’s another sharp knock on the door, and Sapnap races to action. He zips up the duffle bag and backpack, throwing them over his shoulder. He doesn’t even bother with the things scattered around the room, other than the teddy bear that Dream gifted him.

He slings the bags over his shoulder, ignoring another knock and a call of “Anyone there?” He tugs Ranboo up to sit on his hip, and tears open the patio door.

The wind hits him suddenly, and he wishes that he had grabbed his coat. But distantly he thinks he hears the word ‘key’ and he knows there’s not enough time. 

He climbs over the railing, which is about as high as he can, as quickly as he can without dropping anything or anyone. Ranboo starts to fuss, his little hands smacking Sapnap in the shoulder, but he ignores it.

All that he focuses on is running, unlocking the gate, and getting to the bus stop.

-

He pulls two hats, one for Ranboo and one for himself, out of the duffle bag. He knows that if anyone had heard about the missing child, then half black and half white hair would be a dead giveaway.

This bus driver barely glances at him, but it doesn’t stop his breath from catching in his throat as he hands her the cash. He’s running low on spending money now, after two stays in hotels and numerous buses. Most of the money that’s left he had said would only be used in a true emergency, like if Ranboo needs to go to the doctor.

He spends the entire bus ride tense, even when Ranboo falls into his nap at 11 AM. Ranboo is still sleeping when they reach his final stop, the only only a few miles from his destination.

-

He hails a cab, and he knows that this is it, he’s in the final stretch. Just to be careful, he puts on a pair of sunglasses, and a mask. Sure, most people didn’t really wear them anymore, now that COVID was vaccinated. But it wasn’t uncommon to see someone with one.

The cab driver smiles in the mirror when Sapnap climbs in, but his smile slips when he sees the baby in Sapnap’s arms.

“You need a car seat, man.” The driver says, he’s an older man, with gray hair. 

Sapnap’s voice cracks when he says “It’s only a few miles.”

The man shakes his head, turning around in his seat to face Sapnap properly. Sapnap adjusts the hat on Ranboo’s head, making sure no hair is poking out of it.

“It’s against the law, it’s not safe.” He repeats. And Sapnap knows. God does he know, he remembers the frustration when Jason wouldn’t let him go to the fire station to get the car seat checked. He knew exactly why he wasn’t allowed to go, Jason was afraid he would talk. But it didn’t make it any easier to watch the chance slip away.

“Fine, I’ll walk.” Sapnap grunts, Ranboo jerks in his hold at the tone, and Sapnap immediately presses a gentle apology kiss to his forehead.

Sapnap is out of the cab, bags over his shoulder and baby in his arms, before the driver can say a word. 

-

Sapnap feels like collapsing by the time he gets close to the house. The house he had grown up in. The one that most of his happiest memories happened in. The one he desperately hopes more will come in. Ones including his son.

He wonders, in the back of his mind, if they want him there. Or if he will be burdening them. The way Jason said he burdened him. He pushes those thoughts away. Only focused on getting his son into a warm, kind, home.

He reaches their lawn before the thoughts catch up to him. 

He stops at the edge of the grass, not stepping off the sidewalk. The house had finally gotten a new paint job, which Bad had been talking about for years. It was a clean, pale blue. There’s a new car in the driveway. Completely unlike the beat-up Toyota truck he had grown up with. Sapnap stops breathing when he realizes they may not even live here anymore.

He’s staring, blankly, at the car, when he hears the sound of a door swinging open, a brief silence, and then footsteps sprinting through the grass.

He turns, and there they are. Skeppy is in the doorway, half stepping out, with hands clasped over his mouth. And Bad is bolting towards him.

Sapnap flinches, but when Bad stops right in front of him, staring at Sapnap as if he hung the stars in the sky, all the tension leaks out of him.

Sapnap drops the duffle bag in his hand to the ground, his arm stinging as the pressure is released. Bad continuously looks between Sapnap’s worn, tired face, and the confused expression of the baby in his arms.

“We’re home.”


End file.
